Setting The Tone | 7 Tough Questions Every Leader Should Ask

If you’re a leader, you’re a very powerful person…

Do I have your attention?

That’s right… Whether you are a good leader, a great leader, or a lousy one, there is one inevitable result of your leadership (or lack thereof)… YOU will set the tone for your staff, business or organization.

In this article, I will pose a series of questions.

Asking yourself these leadership questions may be fairly easy… Having the courage to answer them honestly will be tough part.

But, if you’ll answer them honestly and put in the work to make the necessary changes, I believe you’ll take your leadership to the next level.

So, let’s explore, Setting The Tone: 7 Tough Questions Every Leader Should Ask…

It’s Not You, It’s Me…

I’ve had countless conversations with other leaders and managers regarding the frustration that can occur when leading a staff or team of people.

Often times, the frustration is that the leaders simply aren’t getting the results from their teams that they think they should, and they want someone to “fix” their people. 

The problem with this approach is very simple. It won’t work.

Leaders are put in place for a reason. To lead! That means that your team takes its cues from you. So to fix your team, you have to fix YOURSELF.

As a leader, you have tremendous power. The problem is that many leaders misunderstand that as… “power to rule,” when they should see it as “power to influence.” And, the interesting part is that, whether you see it that way or not, you’re always influencing those under your leadership… either for good or for bad.

So, to begin identifying why we’re not getting the results we would like, leaders have to ask themselves this first question…

Question #1

Here’s the first question the leader must ask:

What am I doing as a leader that could be causing negative behavior or lackluster results amongst my staff and employees?

That’s right, it’s not really about your TEAM’S actions at all. It’s about you, the leader.

I encourage you leaders to carry around with you a figurative mirror. When things aren’t going well within your team, get that mirror out and take a look.

The answer is only a reflection away.

So, start by making a list of things that you may be doing as a leader, that are fueling negativity or lackluster results in your organization. Then, move to question #2.

Question #2

Hopefully you’re already making a mental list, if not on paper, of things you may be doing, as a leader, that could be causing negative behavior or lackluster results within your team.

Now, we’re going to explore another question…

In my opinion, the single most important factor in deciding whether to hire an individual on your team is whether or not they’ll bring a positive attitude. Is an individual’s skillset important? Absolutely! Is the return on investment a consideration? No question.

But, if you think about it, all of these considerations are directly tied to attitude… And POOR attitude is a direct result of selfishness. The moment that an individual begins to care more about themselves than they do the mission, you no longer have team.

And, once a poor attitude has infected a team, skillsets become agents of self-protection and return on investment declines dramatically.

So how can leaders prevent a negative tone in their organizations? They have to ask themselves question #2:

Do I have a poor attitude?

Some of you will ask yourselves this question and know right away that the answer is yes. And, to that I say, great! The sooner you know it, the sooner you can begin your own change project.

But, to those same leaders… I ALSO say this… a poor attitude is often an extremely difficult thing to change. The reason, is because it’s usually the result of habitual discontentment that’s rooted in selfishness.  

My advice to you is to surround yourself with not only positive people, but people who will hold you accountable when your attitude turns negative.  

Now, because this places the leader in a position to receive teaching and correction, this tends to fly in the face of those who think being in charge is the ultimate goal of leadership.

But, teaching and correction are building blocks of growth.

A true attitude makeover is extremely difficult to achieve. It will require not only a change of mind, but a change of heart. But, hopefully, you’re still reading this because you want to change and become a better leader.

Question #3

Hopefully you’re already doing some self-evaluation of the kind of attitude that you are displaying to your team or organization, and thinking about what it would look like to surround yourself with positive people that will also hold you accountable for your attitude.

Now, let’s take a look at question 3…

Have you ever experienced someone talking down to or belittling you? I’ve never met anyone who enjoys being mistreated. But, as much as we hate to be mistreated, we constantly do it to others. And, somehow we tend to be shocked when they return the favor.

Leadership provides you incredible opportunities to either empower or embitter your team. So, the third tough question a leader must ask themself is…

Do I treat others with respect, and in the way that I myself would want to be treated?

Some would ask, “why does it matter how I treat others? Getting results is all that really matters.”

Many leaders fail to realize that things like honesty, integrity and respect not only make you more fulfilled, they make you a leader that people want to follow.

How much respect do you think team members will have for a leader who consistently shows that respecting others is not important? They will instead, do just what their leader has done… they will fear rather than respect you and resent you rather than appreciate you. And, they will almost always do it behind your back.

Show me leaders who display respect for their teams as well as their customers, and I’ll show you teams that will go to war for their leaders, and customers that will patronize their businesses with undying loyalty. In short, I’ll show you leaders that get results!

Question #4

Mistakes happen.

I don’t know about you, but if I have a problem with a product or service I receive from a business, I just want one thing… for it to be made right.

Unfortunately, employees of many businesses and organizations don’t want to be “solutions providers” at all, they want to be “excuse manufacturers.” 

As we’ve progressed through this series of 7 leadership questions, you may have noticed something… the questions that every leader should ask… are all questions to ask of themselves.

That’s because the leader ultimately will determine the tone of every business or organization by the way they conduct themselves and the way they treat others.

So, now, we’ll take a look at a question pertaining to taking responsibility for mistakes. And that question is….

Do I set the example of how to get a task or job done in an excellent manner or do I constantly make excuses for my own shortcomings?

You might be the leader of a team. You might even be a company CEO who doesn’t see the need to answer to anyone for anything. So, why should you care how anyone views your work ethic or how you deal with your own mistakes?

It’s a fair question… with a simple, but often overlooked answer. 

YOU are being watched. Not by big brother… No stalking conspiracies here… you’re being watched… by your people.

Whether you feel it, or even acknowledge it, is irrelevant. You’re being watched. Your team is taking its cues, verbal and non-verbal, from you, the leader!

That means that their idea of excellence when performing a task… comes from you. Their level of taking responsibility for shortcomings comes from the example that you are setting in taking responsibility for your own. Just imagine, you may be reprimanding your people for a lack of effort that they learned from you!

The hypocrisy alarm is deafening.

Be a leader that sets an example by the excellence of your work and who takes responsibility for it when falling short. You’ll not only be a better leader, but you’ll see the respect and performance of your TEAM go to new levels. You can do it… no excuses!

Question #5

Dreams and goals vary depending on the individual.

But, I’ve found that just about everyone enjoys being inspired to achieve whatever those dreams and goals may be. We’re motivated when others believe in us. When we receive encouragement, it makes us think, maybe I really can do this…

That’s why we’re going to take a look at question #5…

Am I encouraging and inspiring others to be better than they are or thought they could be?

Many years ago I was volunteering at a Christian Youth Camp that I also attended as a teenager. I’ll never forget when the speaker for that week came up to me and said, “It’s very clear to me that God has gifted you in the area of leadership.”

I in no way say that to brag. It’s quite the opposite. You see, I had never once thought of myself that way. But, because of that comment, I began to think seriously about exploring and developing that raw leadership ability that someone else noticed in me. And, what I found was that I really was passionate about leadership. It just took someone I respected to see that in me. I have not arrived. I have lots of work to do in the area of leadership, but I am now motivated to learn from others and to be a better leader in my family, my work and in life.

It cannot be overstated… you as the leader, have great power. But, it’s the power to influence and encourage others. You may be the difference between someone who just has potential and someone who is inspired to fulfill all the potential of their God-given gifts. What an opportunity!

Be a leader who looks for the good in others. Be a leader who serves, encourages and inspires those around them to be better than they ever thought they could be. You’ll have a positive impact on those you lead… you’ll reap positive results in your organization… but most of all, you’ll be encouraged yourself and feel the joy and fulfillment that being a servant leader can bring.

Question #6

If you are, or have been, in a leadership position, then I know something about you…

You’ve experienced situations where people either didn’t get along, had bad attitudes, or gave subpar effort.

Welcome to planet leadership.

But, what I want to zero in on here are situations of CHRONIC discord and underperformance within a business or organization. The ones that have gone on for weeks, months or even years. The ones that make you, the leader, miserable.

I’m going to tell you two possible reasons for why those situations are not getting better (Be sure you write these down)…

Reason number 1…… It’s the leader’s fault.

Reason number 2……. It’s the leader’s fault.

For all you type-A people, there’s no problem with your internet connection. You did, in fact, read that correctly.

Both reasons are the same. And THAT will eventually lead us to the 6th question that every leader should ask.

Now, I make no apologies for the fact that I’m tough on leaders. I’m tough on myself as well. That’s because, I believe that the leader is ultimately responsible for the performance of any team.   

There are always going to bumps along the path of leadership. People make mistakes. People don’t get along. Attitudes can be poor at times. That all comes with having an organization made up of humans.

But, when these problems are chronic, it requires leaders to ask themselves first question (do you remember?)…

What am I doing as a leader that could be causing negative behavior or lackluster results amongst my staff and employees?

As I mentioned, many times it’s simply that the leader is fostering the negative action because they’re modeling it for their team.

In this case, as we mentioned earlier, it’s the leader’s fault. Leaders must correct issues in their own behavior to have any hope of correcting it within a team.

If the leader is NOT modeling the negative behavior, then he or she must ask themselves “why have I not dealt with the problem or negative  behavior?” Or, more simply, question #6…

Why am I being passive?

Negative behavior will multiply itself inside a team and greatly limit its effectiveness. If it’s not corrected, it will ultimately destroy that team.

Leaders, you MUST call out selfishness and subpar performance swiftly and firmly. Many leaders don’t do this because they are too worried that people won’t like them.

But, as one of my mentors taught me, “Don’t be afraid to be clear spoken and resolute. People may be wary of your candor, but they like it.”

People like to know not only where they stand, they want and need to know what the leader stands for.

Let your people know what the standard is. Be very clear about where the boundaries are. Remind them often and hold them accountable.

Because, contrary to what some believe, boundaries provide the framework of freedom.

If you’ll do this, it will become clear rather quickly who is committed to your team and who is committed only to themselves. And yes, sometimes an individual simply will not course correct, regardless of steady and effective leadership. These individuals have made the choice to stop being team members.

But you… don’t be a passive leader! Instead, be a leader who leads by example in all things and holds your team accountable for excellence and teamwork.

It’s not easy. They’ll probably be days you’ll wonder if you can make it. But stay the course. Keep learning. Keep caring. And lead well!

Question #7

When I was a kid, I was terrified of public speaking. In the 3rd grade, Mrs. Franklin assigned me a speech on what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I can remember lying in bed the night before I was supposed to give my speech, crying over my two big problems…

My first problem… I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up.

My second problem…. I was terrified of public speaking.

I finally realized that if I was going to give this speech, I had better find an occupation immediately. So right then and there, lying in my bed, I decided… I was going to be an astronaut!

I don’t really remember the reasons I gave in that speech about why I wanted to be an astronaut, I just remember the sweaty hands and the shaky voice.

You know, sometimes people find themselves in situations like this in their careers. They may end up in leadership roles simply because it is assigned them based on their talent in one particular area or because they are the longest tenured employees.

In other words, not necessarily because of their leadership qualities, potential or desire to be a leader.

That’s why I think the question every leader should ask is so critical.

Do I really want to be a leader?

Some of you right now may be asking yourselves, “Why wasn’t this the FIRST question. I just waded through 6 others to get to the most obvious one???”

Here’s why.

Sometimes you need to wrestle through other questions, to get clear on the answer to what seems like the most obvious one.

I have posed some questions during this article that provoke self-evaluation. Some of you, while answering these tough questions, may be finding that you don’t like what you see in yourself and your leadership performance.

And I’m here to tell you… that’s perfectly OK.

It’s not necessarily what you see in yourself right now that matters. It’s what you do with that information.

Leadership can be a heavy load to carry. It can be one of the loneliest jobs there is. The bitter irony of it is that you hope to do a good enough job to matter, and then, one day, you turn it over to someone else.

And despite all of that, it’s one of the most rewarding and gratifying things you can ever experience! You get to inspire and motivate others to reach their potential!

You get to feel the satisfaction and encouragement that serving others brings.

You get a sense of fulfillment in seeing others learn leadership themselves and carry it on to others.

Leadership Questions: Which One Hits YOU The Hardest?

So, let’s recap the 7 Tough Questions Every Leader Should Ask:

1. What am I doing as a leader that could be causing negative behavior or lackluster results amongst my staff and employees?
2. Do I have a poor attitude?
3. Do I treat others with respect, and in the way that I myself would want to be treated?
4. Do I set the example of how to get a task or job done in an excellent manner or do I constantly make excuses for my own shortcomings?
5. Am I encouraging and inspiring others to be better than they are or thought they could be?
6. Why am I being passive?
7. Do I really want to be a leader?

Some of you know that these 7 questions are just what you needed to get clear on the fact that you have no more chance of becoming an organizational leader than I had of becoming an astronaut.

And that’s OK.

I hope you pursue what you’re gifted at and work on becoming better at what you’re not.

For those of you who’ve made it to the end of this article, asked yourselves the tough questions, and are motivated to pursuing becoming a better leader… To those of you who want to be a leader that sets a positive tone for your business or organization… Welcome to the wonderful, and never-ending process… of learning and practicing leadership!

And Mrs. Franklin…. Thanks for making me give that speech!